It's 7:17 in the morning.
We have exactly 5 minutes in order to leave the house for our scheduled 7:23am departure if we want to arrive at school exactly 10 minutes before the bell rings. We still need to do one last spelling test review and my child can't find his belt. Surprise surprise, it's in his closet. Exactly where it's supposed to be. Unfortunately, my shortness in voicing that fact doesn't set the best tone for the morning.
Do you ever feel like you're floundering a little?
Like you're doing a less-than-ideal job at being a wife, mother, friend, WOMAN? Do you feel the pressure to appear care free while simultaneously making sure you're keeping everything running in perfect fashion? Do you find yourself, like me, with one eye on your guy and the other on the clock? Or half listening to your child's story and half thinking about what still needs to get done in order for this day to be accomplished and successful?
It feels so gross to put those words on paper. But I am no care-free gal. I'm a clock watcher. A list checker-offer. And a huge doubter in my own abilities to do it all and do it all well.
There is this lie I've let myself believe that being a good mother and wife and friend and woman means that everything (and a little more of course) gets done according to the schedule I've written down in my planner; that a large, healthy dinner is on the table at the appropriate dinner hour; that the bathrooms are clean (you know, so you can create an atmosphere for planned, spontaneous community and hospitality) and that I am the perfect balance of a sweet, yet stern, discipling-at-every-opportunity mother figure for my boys and an eagerly serving, spicy and attentive wife to my husband. And in order to do those things, I needed to be focused, driven and of course, busy.
Instead, I need to be free.
I need to allow myself to get lost in the moment. To embrace some messiness and laugh off the small stuff. I need to cuddle and dance and be a human BEING. Not a human who is DOING DOING DOING. And let me be clear that the only person putting these pressures on me, is me. My family doesn't want busy. And neither does my Father.
I watched this video a few days ago that came at just the right time -- right in the middle of my own self-judgement. Please watch! Let's learn from the women who have gone before us. And don't forget the tissues! (seriously.)
What is God calling you to let go of? In what areas of your life can you, personally, start living in freedom and stop living by self-imposed guidelines? What, in thirty years, will you look back on as the important stuff and what will you see as a waste?