I'm going to be very opaque here and admit that apart from a study I'm participating in, I have not been taking the time to just sit and read my bible or pray with out a specific prayer request. I have felt the conviction that comes with that, but somehow managed to ignore it. Why? Laziness maybe, lack of passion or drive? I can only put the blame on myself.

Last week I saw on the news that there seems to be a small divide occuring between America and Isreal and it scared me because I've always been taught that is a sign of the end times (Don't actually know if thats true or not). I'm not afraid of where I will go. I know beyond a SHADOW OF A DOUBT that I am saved by the grace of God! Thank you Jesus! I was more afraid of what I'd miss out on if he returned so soon -- like growing old with Wade.

I know in my head that life eternal with God will be beyond imagination, but because it is beyond my ability to imagine, it causes me to want to hold on tightly to the life I already know here on Earth! Because yes, I do love this life -- even though I know that it is nothing compared to the life I will have.

Well, last night I felt so drawn to my Bible that I just sat in bed and started reading the book of Revelation.
"Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near." (Rev. 1:3)

I figured if I read about my future life with Christ, it would help me desire it more than my life on Earth. Boy, God's word is awesome. I got as far as the first part of chapter two and just fell in awe of God and his knowledge of my heart.

"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first." (Rev. 2:2-5)

What a great reminder. To remember my FIRST LOVE.. and the height from which I have fallen! I can do nothing outside of Christ. Nothing that matters anyways. It was such a refreshing time to simply sit in God's presence, to really talk to Him, about nothing.. about everything.

Lord, don't let me get caught up in the actions and forget the relationship!