I've just started a study on a book called Forgotten God by Francis Chan with my community group. (My community group is a group of friends who meet together weekly to talk about God, study His Word, grow, and keep eachother accountable).

Now, I'm not the type to base my belief system on any book other than the Bible. In fact, I usually get bored reading books on "how-to" anything!
 
I'm intrigued by this book for two reasons:
  1. The subject matter - The Holy Spirit
  2. The humility of the author
The Holy Spirit is someone who I've always known to be a part of my life, but if I'm honest I haven't been quite so active in involving Him intentionally.  I would say if you were to measure our relationship on a scale, His side would far outweigh my own efforts.
 
I find myself, ashamedly, wondering why in the world it's like this.  And I know the answer clear as day. I'm lazy (undisciplined). And scared.

I'm lazy because inviting the Holy Spirit into my life (every moment every day) takes effort.  I can't just say, "Hey. Holy Spirit be in my life in everyway" and then go on and keep doing things without consulting Him.  Ignoring Him. That's a lie. It takes intent to be disciplined enough to make consulting the Holy Spirit a priority in my life. 

I'm scared because I fear where the Holy Spirit will take me if I do truely invite Him to guide every aspect of my life. 

I've spoken with so many friends who fear where the Holy Spirit will take them as well.  Some fear that God will call them to Africa or to a dangerous people group.  They fear they will have to leave their homes or families to be obedient to God.

The only difference is I would LOVE to go to a foreign country and be a full time missionary.  You know why?  Because that's comfortable for me.

What's uncomfortable is being here -- Ministering in America.  If I'm being honest, it is much easier for me to share my faith with people who don't speak my language.  The fact that I'm American makes them want to listen to me!

Here, in the states, I have an overwhelming fear that no one cares about my faith. I worry that I'll be "bothering" them. I feel convinced that no one wants to hear from me at all! 

So, my fear of the Holy Spirit's guidance is that he will call me here. Right here. Where I already am.  It's scary for me because it is more of a challenge for me.  In fact, I feel tense right now just writing this! 

A few years ago, my husband attended "Man Camp" with our church. He came back challenged with something that continually comes to my mind:  He was challenged to dicipline himself enough to feed himself Spiritually before he feeds himself Physically each day
To spend time in God's presence, in His word, and in prayer before he meets the physical needs of his body. 

If you've ever lived with me, or even gone on vacation with me, you may know that food is SUPER important to me.  It's usually what draws me out of bed in the morning (I wake up starving!)

What if I woke up with that same desire or need for the Holy Spirit's work and presence in my life?

My prayer is for that to be the case for me. My prayer is that I won't read about the Holy Spirit and not apply him to my life. My prayer is that I will not allow fear or lack of self-discipline to enslave me anymore. My prayer is for the Holy Spirit to live and move through me.



"The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they could see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus." -- Acts 4:13

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere -- in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." -- Acts 1:8




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