I'm currently doing a study with my band on the book WIRED For a Life of Worship by Louis Giglio which is all about how we were created to be worshippers.
"It's what you do. You can't help it. You can't stop it. You can't live without it.
But you can choose where you invest it."
We were challenged to take some time and think about what we worship. A good way to measure this is to evaluate where we are spending our time, our money, our thoughts.
You might be tempted to think that because I'm a "missionary" - one to a foreign country, a dangerous foreign country for crying out loud - that my worship is obviously directed at Christ 100% of the time. Well, you'd be wrong.
As I tried to evaluate my life, I came to a very scary realization of just who or what I find myself worshipping most often: surprise! IT'S ME.
When I've got my day all planned out - when my Day Designer pages are full of my carefully thought out "to-do list" - and suddenly I get a phone call that I have to drop everything and change my day up completely, I start panicking. When will I work out? When will I work on blog design (my clients need me!) What about blogging? I never have time for that anymore! I only get a few days "off" from Mexico and I was really hoping for a day to just watch old episodes of TV all day and do nothing!
There's a lot of "I" in that paragraph.
The struggle to put the computer down, even though I didn't get as much "work" done as I'd like to... The pride/insecurity that all too often clouds my mind when I'm asked to sing at church on Sunday... the fact that I make time to exercise, shower, and pick out a nice outfit but oops! I forgot (aka: didn't make time for) focusing on God's word and praying much today...
Those are all proofs of who I'm worshipping.
Listen: blogging is good. Exercise is good. Getting out of sweatpants is GOOD! And even taking a break and doing absolutely nothing all day is good. God wants us to enjoy those things. And he definitely doesn't want us to hate ourselves. He created us. Don't forget that.
But my attitude or reluctance or constant me me me interior monologue should be much much quieter.
One of the questions our band leader asked us is to identify ways in which Satan redirects our worship. And that's the ticket. What I've realized is that Satan isn't trying to steal my worship. Instead, he wants to redirect it.
It's scary similar to his own story: the one where he decided to worship himself over God. The one where he thought himself more valuable, more beautiful, more praise-worthy than his Creator. And here he is, trying to get me to do the same. To worship me.
So how do I make the change? You've got me. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure this battle will be a life-long one. But one way to make the change is to put it out there. They say the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. Well, I want to recover. So I'm admitting that far too often I find that I'm worshipping myself. And I want to stop. I want to praise God and be flexible and remember that "my time" isn't MY TIME - it's His time! I want to always be eager to jump at the chance to serve Him, no matter how much it may inconvenience my day. I want to lead worship and forget about myself - every single time. I want to make my daily time with Him a priority just like I make working out, eating meals, showering, and yes, even watching TV a priority. Except I want Him to be a bigger priority. The biggest.
If we're all honest, I think most of us can identify ourselves as the tool the enemy uses to distract our worship from God. At the root of our busyness, at the root of our interests: it's us. And this world makes it so easy with it's "me-focused" social media and "do what makes you happy" mantra. In today's world, we all have the potential to be celebrities - to have a following. And that's scary. Thankfully we have a God who constantly calls us home. He call us to lay it all down and worship Him because He knows that He's the only one worthy of it. He doesn't call us to worship Him because He needs it. He calls us to worship Him because WE need it.
Can you relate? If you're really honest, do you struggle with putting yourself at the top of the list? How do you think we can make a more conscious effort to reserve our worship for God alone?